When I first started reading Sandman, I fell instantly in love with it. This was back in the early 90’s, when it was still being written, and I waited breathlessly for each omnibus book of the individual comics. I wanted it in color! I wanted to read the whole arc at once, not scattered over weeks and months! I was obsessed—the writing, the characterizations, the artwork, all of it transported me into the world Gaiman had created. I felt as though I knew all of the Endless, from Destiny and lovely Death down through sweet, scattered Delirium-who-used-to-be-Delight. I felt that if Death were really Like That, I could face her and be unafraid.

I’m a fanfic author, an aspiring writer. I’ve written riffs on the Sandman, crossing each of the Endless with various characters from different fandoms. It was almost like a labor of love for me, I adored these characters so much and, since I was an avowed Gaiman fan, it wasn’t difficult to crawl into his head and attempt to write the Endless as he would have. I think I mostly succeeded.

Over the years, I’ve picked up other works of his. I’m sorry to say that there weren’t many I could get into. I loved The Ocean at the End of the Lane but that was an outlier. I could appreciate the work that went into American Gods but even though I struggled through most of it, the story itself left me cold. Not even Stardust could interest me. I thought maybe it was the fact that it was pure prose, and that I needed illustration when reading him.

Then came the televised Good Omens. Even though I love Terry Pratchett, I never could get into the book. The film, however, captivated me, and that only served to prove to me that I needed illustration to read and appreciate Gaiman.

Once the film was released to acclaim, Gaiman, in interviews, claimed to have plotted out the sequels with pTerry back when the book was first released. Fans were ecstatic. Would the sequel(s) be televised? Why yes, they would be. Gaiman talked about speaking with pTerry before his glorious brain was eaten by disease, discussing the sequel and how it would be written. There was no way to corroborate this, as pTerry was gone.

The second series of Good Omens was eventually released. Yes, it was good, but there was something missing, many fans felt. It was nebulous, elusive, just something that felt… off.

Then, of course, came the accusations. First one woman, then another, and another. I’ve lost count how many. Neil Gaiman was a sexual predator, even possibly a trafficker. Like the orange shitgibbon who is currently squatting in our White House, he likes’em young. I didn’t want to believe it at first; this was my hero! I desperately wanted to be able to write like him some day! Say it ain’t so, Joe!

But there’s one thing that Neil Gaiman’s writing has taught me: Believe the women. These women bringing the accusations had nothing to gain and everything to lose. One after another detailed similar situations and all sounded remarkably alike. Then came the corroboration from other sources, sources I trusted. It was obvious, at least to me, the accusations were true.

Gaiman withdrew from all social media platforms. Radio silence. His television projects, including The Sandman and Good Omens, seemed in peril. No one wanted to work with an alleged sexual predator.

Both shows eventually finished, though both were lacking the depth they could have had. Disclaimer: I haven’t seen the third installment of Good Omens and I don’t intend to. I’ve seen, from fan reaction, that it’s a hot mess and I don’t need that.

Fan Aivelin (on the social media platform Tumblr), did a deep dive into what was wrong with the third installment. Hir essay, “How the Good Omens Finale Betrayed its Humanistic Roots” could be an encyclopedia on everything that is wrong with Neil Gaiman’s writing. It was eye-opening for me, because it made me realize why I never could get into so much of Gaiman’s writing. Xe writes:

This raises painful, critical questions: Is this sudden shift in characterization a narrative misstep? Is the tragic, suicidal ending a harsh subversion of the original book, which famously promised a comforting happily ever after?

To find the answer, one must look closely at who held the creative reins for the scripts of Seasons 2 and 3. By analyzing the writing credits, clear and undeniable patterns emerge, linking these distressing plot choices directly to Neil Gaiman’s broader, often dark and subversive, body of work.

…

Gaiman’s worlds are populated by immortal beings who are deeply fractured at best and cruel at worst. In these narratives, it is almost a rule that celestial entities will take advantage of the hearts that love them, turning devotion into a tool before abandoning those souls to a devastating fate.

…

Gaiman is merely reshaping Good Omens to fit his favorite creative blueprint.

And there lies the rub. It was a much, much younger Gaiman who co-authored Good Omens with pTerry; was he also a much nicer man? Did fame twist him? Or was he always like this? We have to assume the latter as surely, people don’t change that much, do they?

Xe ends hir essay by saying:

The original, humanistic spirit of Good Omens died with Terry Pratchett, leaving behind a cold universe engineered for heartbreak.

I have dwelt on this essay and its conclusions for good reason; to point out how Gaiman’s writing apparently reflects himself. As a writer, I know this is true. Yes, I’ve written horror and comedy and SF and fantasy but each story I write reflects on me. I’d like to think that, like pTerry, I’m humanistic. I am not nihilistic. But apparently, Gaiman is, and is willing to be his character Ric Madoc, who claims out loud to be a feminist author while privately keeping his muse, a woman, locked in the attic for his pleasure.

Now, Gaiman has brought suit against one of his accusers, Caroline Wallner, for breaking her NDA (https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/neil-gaiman-claim-accuser-caroline-wallner-nda-1235321848/). Not for libel, not as a counter-suit, but for breaking her non-disclosure agreement by talking to the press. I hope he’s read the book QB7, and I hope if the suit is found for him, that he’s awarded the same “smallest coin of the realm” as his due.

Personally, Neil Gaiman broke my heart, by proving he’s just another scumbag woman abuser. It leaves me wondering: Is there anyone good left in the world to look up to? PTerry, you left us too soon, and we are bereft.